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Mom Bloggers: Be Kind & Have Integrity

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Warning: Grab a cup of coffee, ladies. I have a lot to say in this post. – Lilah

Mom Bloggers: Be Kind & Have Integrity

I have been a blogger since 2007. I have been active in the online mom community for 10 years longer than that. In that time, I have seen behavior that is less than ladylike, lacks integrity and is, at times, downright rude.

We, as women, tease amongst ourselves about the ‘Bro Code’ which does seem to exist between men. We joke and snark about  this code, saying we don’t understand it and that we find it to be ridiculous. But in all honesty, it leaves me wondering, why we, as women, do not have the same honor code within our ‘sisterhood’. Rarely is it found in our personal lives and even less often is it found in our professional lives. Why is this?

Recently, I had a situation in which someone was extremely rude to me and then did not follow through on her end of what should have been a mutually beneficial venture. If left me angry and hurt, but more than that, it made me wonder how successful she will be professionally if she treats people as she treated me.

Ladies, we are a sisterhood, a community, brought together by our love of family and our love of writing. So if that is true, where is our solidarity? Why must we lack integrity and be unkind to one another?

We like to believe, as women, that men are the more competitive sex. And while on some level that is true, our approach and our agenda in getting ahead and succeeding is much different. It is dirty pool. And ladies, THAT is just WRONG!

A man is competitive in an upfront, in your face kind of way. If they are a shark, YOU KNOW they are a shark. A woman on the other hand, she will cut your throat before you ever see the blade, and then be there with the bandages to fix you up, acting as though she didn’t have anything to do with it. Stop it! Put the knives down.

Instead of stepping on each other on the way to the top, grab a sister’s hand and pull her up with you! You might just find a friend when you get there.

Ladies, Be Kind

 

Help a Newbie: All mom bloggers should remember we were ALL beginners once too. Remember those first days and the uncertainty in what you were doing. The days before your blog was cohesive or even visually appealing. The days before you had an audience outside of your mom and your best friend. We ALL had to get our feet wet somewhere. I am sure we all had questions the other, more experienced bloggers were too busy or too rude to answer. Lend a hand. Answer a question. Give REAL advice without fear that someone else might get to where you are. Would it be such a bad thing if we were ALL successful and confident?

Go the Extra Mile: Sometimes it takes a bit of extra work or research to make accomplish a goal, to launch a successful project or to build a mutually beneficial professional relationship. Do it! Just do it! It is an exercise in being a thoughtful and considerate person. If someone else forgets, kindly tap them on the shoulder to remind them. If they drop the ball completely, pick it up yourself. Wouldn’t it be nice to be known as the mom blogger that goes above and beyond? Validation is a beautiful thing and positive feedback only brings more readers.

Don’t Overdo It: We are moms first, right? That in itself means we are crazy, busy women. We have responsibilities in real life. A spouse, children, a home, bills, maybe a full time job outside of our blogs, community and religious commitments. So don’t take on more than you can reasonably handle. Don’t do it. When we take on too much, NOTHING gets done efficiently. Our kids suffer, our marriages suffer, our homes suffer. That leaves us stressed out and bitchy. The more we overextend ourselves, the more room is left for forgotten tasks, impatience, rudeness, and a lack of follow through. Don’t be the rude blogger because you have too much on your plate. It’s okay to say no! Ladies, we have heard that our entire lives. Just say no! To men. To drugs. To needy friends. Our blogs count too. Just say no! It’s okay.

Ladies, Have Integrity

 

Keep Your Word and Honor Your Commitments: Don’t make promises that you cannot keep. If you say you are going to do something, do it! Even if someone doesn’t hold up their end, you hold up yours. Sometimes people forget. Sometimes life happens. And sometimes, people are just jerks. Don’t respond in kind, but rather respond with kindness. Be a woman of integrity.

Admit YOU Need Help: I understand we all have life circumstances that prevent us from being the best blogger every day. When life happens, ask for help. Pass the project on to someone else who has time. Pay an assistant to do the mundane tasks that bog you down. Communicate with sponsors, host blogs and other bloggers. Be honest without the pity party. Explain your current limitations. You will find that if you upfront and honest, people just might be willing to work with you or give you the helping hand we all need from time to time.

Show Those Ethics: Don’t look for blurred lines or create them all for the sake of getting it done or getting what you want. If it isn’t right, it isn’t right, no matter how badly you want it. Be honest and forthright – ALWAYS. Don’t blur the lines or tell little white lies. Don’t take credit for something that isn’t yours, instead give credit where it is due. Don’t ignore things that you aren’t really in the mood to handle. Do what needs to needs to be done. Do it honestly and to the very best of your ability. Your pride in what you do will show in a job well done.

One Last Thought

Beware of Burnout: Face it, sometimes we get burned out. It happens. It’s okay. But when it stops being fun, when you lose the passion and can’t seem to get it back, let it go! If your blog had bogged you down and burned you out, consider walking away. Hand it over to another blogger, one who is still impassioned. If you hate it and resent it, you might want to rethink it. Don’t contribute further to your stress level. ‘If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy’. This is true at home, in the office and on the blog. Maybe you need to recharge, have some ‘me time’. So go on hiatus. See if that helps you feel better. If not, remember all good things must come to an end. You’ve lived it, you’ve loved it, now let it go. Your kids and your spouse with thank you. And maybe, just maybe, Mom, you will thank you too.

—-

Please do share, tweet, +1 and pin this. Help me get the word out. Let’s work together, find our solidarity and become the sisterhood we should be. There is no limit to what we can accomplish when we support one another!

With all my respect and adoration for all that you do,
Lilah

Lilah

Lilah

Editor and Writer at Naturally Frugalicious
Lilah Ayelet is a photographer extraordinaire, life coach, and blogger who has a sometimes snarky and irreverent approach to life. Her personal blog, Naturally Frugalicious, offers perspectives on healthy eating and frugal living through real food recipes, household tips and tricks and life hacks. When she isn’t blogging or elbow deep in her photography, Lilah can be found drinking a glass of wine and getting lost in Pinterest. She can also be found on Facebook, Twitter and Google+.
Lilah

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Comments

  1. This is a great post! It amazes me how some people act just because they are behind a computer and it really makes you wonder what they are like face to face…
    jennifer zuna recently posted..Fun Bites Review and GiveawayMy Profile

    • Thanks Jennifer! I agree completely. I get frustrated myself. We all do. But it only takes a second to rethink a poor reaction and change it.

  2. Love this post! I’m a Mommy blogger and a newbie of sorts…. only had my blog for 7 months. I have been very lucky to have sister bloggers that offered advice, but you are so right about the competitive actions that go on in the blogger world. I had no idea how it was. Sharing this with some of my groups right now. Thank you for posting. =)
    Amanda recently posted..Eraselet and Jasper Necklace EventMy Profile

    • That is so awesome, Amanda! I am so glad you have found your sister bloggers so soon in your journey. It was a lonely walk for me in the beginning LOL
      I am glad you enjoyed the post and THANK YOU so much for passing it on!

  3. I’m a small blogger… compared to most. But I always stop to help both types of bloggers big and small.–On whatever they may need. One blogger I’ve been helping has reached high heights in a short time, and is going to surpass me, rather soon. Know what? I’m proud of her and all her hard work. I wouldn’t think to be jealous or try to wreck her. I wouldn’t think to do that to anyone else either. However, I do know the bloggers that will appear to be helping, but in reality are harming the smaller blogs. I’ve seen people ripped off, stabbed in the back, and slandered. It’s a good community most of the time, but there’s those few that make it a distrustful one. Thank you for this post. EVERYONE should be reading it.
    Taryn Lysa recently posted..Dyson DC24 Giveaway 8/31My Profile

    • Taryn, It IS a good community most of the time. You are so right. Unfortunately among all the great people/women out there, there are people/women out there who aren’t even aware they lack integrity. It is so sad to be so self-involved that you don’t even see what is right anymore. Good for you to always be willing to help! That will make you stand out in this crazy sea of bloggers!

  4. I agree with you 100% I am a new blogger and I have had help from some AWESOME women and I have been kicked by some snotty ones! I believe in karma ! I also know the feeling so I try so hard to help other bloggers who are young or even older. To be helped is to help others! awesome! I love this!!

    • Absolutely, Jessica! To help is to be helped and vice versa! I am so glad you have found supportive women to aide you in your blogger journey. That is awesome!

  5. fortunately, in my experience, the not-so-nice bloggers seem to be few and far between, but there are those women who have, simply put, gotten too dadgum big for their britches and as a result have had their heads swell to alarming proportions. my feeling is this – in the blogosphere, as in real life, there will always be someone who is waiting and will take you down a peg or two, so be nice, be nice and be nice! what goes around truly does come around.
    jayedee recently posted..It’s National Senior Citizens Day!My Profile

    • I know the rude people I am talking about are not the rule, but rather the exception. But I hope everyone who reads this will see that we can all be a bit kinder and grow in our integrity just a bit more. Nothing wrong with being a nice girl!

  6. I have a dog blog in addition to my personal blog and I must say that is one of the BIGGEST strengths of the dog blogging community. It such a kind and supportive group. I wouldn’t know a quarter as much about blogging as I do without the help and mentorship of many, many special ladies. It really does make all the difference in the world!
    20Something recently posted..Too Damn Young…My Profile

    • My mom is a dog person and showed dogs. So I understand the kindness in that community. No surprise that a group of animal lovers would be so supportive of each other. No surprise at all :)

  7. Great post and I wish I could have got more help when I first started blogging. Very good points,shared on twitter and Google+
    aprila recently posted..Ozeri FreshSpin Salad Spinner and Serving Bowl ReviewMy Profile

  8. Great post from a newbie blogger. I find many people who are blogging experts friendly and will sometimes take time to help but others don’t. I’ve learned to accept it and appreciate those who make the time to help me. I often feel and wish that there was a mentoring program or a way to link up with a more seasoned blogger to answer more specific questions instead of asking them on twitter or looking it up on google.

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