Warning: Grab a cup of coffee, ladies. I have a lot to say in this post. – Lilah
I have been a blogger since 2007. I have been active in the online mom community for 10 years longer than that. In that time, I have seen behavior that is less than ladylike, lacks integrity and is, at times, downright rude.
We, as women, tease amongst ourselves about the ‘Bro Code’ which does seem to exist between men. We joke and snark about this code, saying we don’t understand it and that we find it to be ridiculous. But in all honesty, it leaves me wondering, why we, as women, do not have the same honor code within our ‘sisterhood’. Rarely is it found in our personal lives and even less often is it found in our professional lives. Why is this?
Recently, I had a situation in which someone was extremely rude to me and then did not follow through on her end of what should have been a mutually beneficial venture. If left me angry and hurt, but more than that, it made me wonder how successful she will be professionally if she treats people as she treated me.
Ladies, we are a sisterhood, a community, brought together by our love of family and our love of writing. So if that is true, where is our solidarity? Why must we lack integrity and be unkind to one another?
We like to believe, as women, that men are the more competitive sex. And while on some level that is true, our approach and our agenda in getting ahead and succeeding is much different. It is dirty pool. And ladies, THAT is just WRONG!
A man is competitive in an upfront, in your face kind of way. If they are a shark, YOU KNOW they are a shark. A woman on the other hand, she will cut your throat before you ever see the blade, and then be there with the bandages to fix you up, acting as though she didn’t have anything to do with it. Stop it! Put the knives down.
Instead of stepping on each other on the way to the top, grab a sister’s hand and pull her up with you! You might just find a friend when you get there.
Ladies, Be Kind
Help a Newbie: All mom bloggers should remember we were ALL beginners once too. Remember those first days and the uncertainty in what you were doing. The days before your blog was cohesive or even visually appealing. The days before you had an audience outside of your mom and your best friend. We ALL had to get our feet wet somewhere. I am sure we all had questions the other, more experienced bloggers were too busy or too rude to answer. Lend a hand. Answer a question. Give REAL advice without fear that someone else might get to where you are. Would it be such a bad thing if we were ALL successful and confident?
Go the Extra Mile: Sometimes it takes a bit of extra work or research to make accomplish a goal, to launch a successful project or to build a mutually beneficial professional relationship. Do it! Just do it! It is an exercise in being a thoughtful and considerate person. If someone else forgets, kindly tap them on the shoulder to remind them. If they drop the ball completely, pick it up yourself. Wouldn’t it be nice to be known as the mom blogger that goes above and beyond? Validation is a beautiful thing and positive feedback only brings more readers.
Don’t Overdo It: We are moms first, right? That in itself means we are crazy, busy women. We have responsibilities in real life. A spouse, children, a home, bills, maybe a full time job outside of our blogs, community and religious commitments. So don’t take on more than you can reasonably handle. Don’t do it. When we take on too much, NOTHING gets done efficiently. Our kids suffer, our marriages suffer, our homes suffer. That leaves us stressed out and bitchy. The more we overextend ourselves, the more room is left for forgotten tasks, impatience, rudeness, and a lack of follow through. Don’t be the rude blogger because you have too much on your plate. It’s okay to say no! Ladies, we have heard that our entire lives. Just say no! To men. To drugs. To needy friends. Our blogs count too. Just say no! It’s okay.
Ladies, Have Integrity
Keep Your Word and Honor Your Commitments: Don’t make promises that you cannot keep. If you say you are going to do something, do it! Even if someone doesn’t hold up their end, you hold up yours. Sometimes people forget. Sometimes life happens. And sometimes, people are just jerks. Don’t respond in kind, but rather respond with kindness. Be a woman of integrity.
Admit YOU Need Help: I understand we all have life circumstances that prevent us from being the best blogger every day. When life happens, ask for help. Pass the project on to someone else who has time. Pay an assistant to do the mundane tasks that bog you down. Communicate with sponsors, host blogs and other bloggers. Be honest without the pity party. Explain your current limitations. You will find that if you upfront and honest, people just might be willing to work with you or give you the helping hand we all need from time to time.
Show Those Ethics: Don’t look for blurred lines or create them all for the sake of getting it done or getting what you want. If it isn’t right, it isn’t right, no matter how badly you want it. Be honest and forthright – ALWAYS. Don’t blur the lines or tell little white lies. Don’t take credit for something that isn’t yours, instead give credit where it is due. Don’t ignore things that you aren’t really in the mood to handle. Do what needs to needs to be done. Do it honestly and to the very best of your ability. Your pride in what you do will show in a job well done.
One Last Thought
Beware of Burnout: Face it, sometimes we get burned out. It happens. It’s okay. But when it stops being fun, when you lose the passion and can’t seem to get it back, let it go! If your blog had bogged you down and burned you out, consider walking away. Hand it over to another blogger, one who is still impassioned. If you hate it and resent it, you might want to rethink it. Don’t contribute further to your stress level. ‘If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy’. This is true at home, in the office and on the blog. Maybe you need to recharge, have some ‘me time’. So go on hiatus. See if that helps you feel better. If not, remember all good things must come to an end. You’ve lived it, you’ve loved it, now let it go. Your kids and your spouse with thank you. And maybe, just maybe, Mom, you will thank you too.
Please do share, tweet, +1 and pin this. Help me get the word out. Let’s work together, find our solidarity and become the sisterhood we should be. There is no limit to what we can accomplish when we support one another!
With all my respect and adoration for all that you do,
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Lilah Ayelet is a photographer extraordinaire, life coach, and blogger who has a sometimes snarky and irreverent approach to life. Her personal blog, Naturally Frugalicious, offers perspectives on healthy eating and frugal living through recipes, tips, and DIY projects. When she isn’t blogging or elbow deep in her photography, Lilah can be found drinking a glass of wine and getting lost in Pinterest. She can also be found on Facebook, Twitter and Google+.